Rough Patch

Today has been interesting.

First of all, I have made some amazing friends in school. I've made the kind of friends that see you at your best and worst AND love you all the same. I am ridiculously thankful for meeting some of the sweetest people. I am thankful for the opportunity to go back to school for something I feel called, compelled, meant to become. Meeting some of the sweetest people and making friends is icing on the cake.

This morning one of those close friends let me know that her baby sister was involuntarily committed to a psychiatric hospital and that they think she has schizophrenia. You all know we are in psych this semester, and we see schizophrenia every single day we're there. It is a really challenging illness, and can be difficult to treat. I have prayed all day that God will wrap his arms around her family and comfort each of them. I cannot imagine how they are feeling right now.

My other close friend had OB today. She called and said she really enjoyed it, but was in tears and really upset about one of her patients. She had a patient come in, in early labor, 41 weeks pregnant, that had not felt her baby move since yesterday. The baby died and they were having to help the mother with this news while getting ready to deliver a deceased baby. I cried when she told me about it and I feel so horrible for my friend and the family she helped. At the same time, I'm very proud of her and glad that someone as sweet and compassionate as her was with the mother and family. She is so kind and caring; I know she helped the situation.

Nursing is wonderful, and I love it with all of my heart. There are just some times when it is really upsetting or difficult; there are times when I wish I didn't know as much about health, wellness, and illness. I cry for patients, friends, and their families. I pray for them. I hope they have good outcomes.

I guess I have to learn to care in a way that is healthy...or maybe how much I care is healthy.

Labor and Delivery Day 1

Yesterday I arrived at the hospital before sunrise expecting to be on the post partum floor all day taking care of Mamas that had just delivered babies. I read up on everything post partum and was ready to go!! My instructor met me and let me know that there was a change in plans and I would instead be going to Labor and Delivery for the day. Immediate excitement followed 5 minutes later by being a little bit terrified. I know L&D somewhat, but I had prepared for PP all day. I quickly got over it as I met my nurse for the day and started to go over our patients.

Fast forward to 1045. We get an admission of a Mom with 2 previous term deliveries, nothing else. She is in a lot of pain and ready for her epidural. She was super dehydrated and we ended up having to call anesthesia to start the IV, and it took them 3 tries to do so {if it takes them 3 tries it was super difficult}. Anyhow, we waited 20 minutes for the epidural to work, and no luck. We called anesthesia back and they decided to bolus {put more meds} again and and see what happened 5-10 minutes later. Well, I stayed with the Mom to try to help her through contractions. Oh WAIT. I'm missing something important. Mom and Dad only speak SPANISH! I know a little Spanish, they know a little English--it was an interesting few hours! OK back to story. As anesthesia walks back into the room, Mom gives me some physical clues that she's ready to push. WOAH! She arrived at 1045 and it is 1230. We were expecting a fast delivery, but not quite that fast. The anesthesiologist grabs the nurse {because I'm not leaving the Mom} and ends up the charge nurse comes in to get some labs {we STILL hadn't been able to get blood, only an IV}. I tell the charge nurse she's acting like she wants to push and she asks me for her info {things like dilated to a 4, 38 and 3/7 weeks pregnant, 3rd baby, etc...}. Charge nurse says "I'll get these labs and then we'll check her" just as Mom starts to scream. Charge nurse then says, "why don't we check her now" and pulls back the covers. Lo and behold babies head is saying hello all the way to his ears!!!!! The charge has one sterile glove on, and I throw a clean glove on her other hand, Mom pushes, and out slides baby. HANDS DOWN ONE OF THE MOST AMAZING THINGS I'VE EVER SEEN. I can't believed I helped with a precipitous birth {one where the Dr. isn't there} on my very first day.

I sincerely thought L&D would be all about staring at crotch all day and it is SO NOT. It is all about watching for baby's head!! My poor Mama never got to experience birth with an epidural since it never worked and she had her first two kiddos at home in another country. She took it like a champ though and only almost broke my hand once {now I know why you only give Mom two fingers to squeeze}.

Mama and baby are well, and the father seriously almost made me cry. They are the cutest sweetest little family, and we communicated enough that I knew they were going to have someone pick up their kids from school and bring them to meet their little brother {really little}. The parents thanked us and when we told them the Dr. would be there shortly the Mom said "no need now!" She was so sweet! The Dr. was upset he missed the birth. Whomever paged him during all the mayhem entered his pager number instead of the hospital, so he had no idea of where to go!!

I had to get this down tonight before I forgot all of the little details. I was on cloud 9 after yesterday, but it was also the most physically and mentally exerting shift so far. Being able to help someone through the pain of natural birth is SO REWARDING. That said, I'm excited that next week I get to spend a lot of time in the nursery with the wee newborns!! Hope everyone is having a great time....back to studying!!

Life Lately

Sleep, study, repeat, sleep study, repeat, sleep, study, eat, repeat, sleep, study, dangit I have to start eating more regularly!

This is how life has gone lately. I told y'all October would be a doozie of a month and I'm no liar. Even so, I'm not sure I expected the craziness that would ensue as of a couple of weeks ago. Quick recap {because I could study for the next two weeks without eating or sleeping and still not get everything done}:

I go to the Harris County Psychiatric Center, or HCPC, once a week. I DO NOT like being there behind not one, but TWO locked doors on the unit and another TWO to get out of the hospital. It is a really eerie feeling once that door locks and you know you can't get out. I get physically ill before each shift starts. The fact that I'm on very acute units doesn't help much either. The charge nurse got beat up by a patient last week, and the week before that we had two patients get into a fight. Haldol is a staple. I actually really enjoy learning about psych, but don't enjoy experiencing it first hand. In fact, I like all of psych EXCEPT bipolar disorder and schizo disorders. Suicidal 20 something? Bring it on. OCD? So interesting. Eating disorders? I was in ballet and a sorority. Depressed? We can talk.

Now, I'm spending so much time on this because I feel bad about not liking psych. I'm actually pretty good at it {does that mean I'm a little crazy?} and have done really well on my exams, therapeutic interviews, and interventions with acutely psychotic patients that aren't at HCPC {they're in the hospitals I'm doing other shifts at}. For some reason I can connect with many of them. Maybe it is because I'm young. Maybe it is because I'm a student and we have something in common.....NEITHER OF US WANT TO BE THERE!! Maybe I'm a little off my rocker {hey, I feel like a string is holding me back from being committed sometimes}. Whatever it is, {I'm not bragging} I have a knack for it. That said, I could go the rest of my life without seeing a manic patient and die a happy gal, but I have to make it through mid-December with my weekly visits to HCPC. Oh the joy.

I made it through gerontology without a breakdown. I got an A.

OB started and is RIDICULOUSLY hard. I thought it'd be interesting, but alas, staring at crotch all day isn't very appealing. Actually I think I'll like being in L&D, OR, and the nursery, but the learning all of it ahead of time and seeing picture after picture after picture of crotch is just a bit much. Ever seen uterine prolapse? Don't Google it while eating.

I'm almost done with Care II and I'm fighting every second to earn an A in there. It is a Med-Surg course and a lot of fun, but some of the questions are a little wacky.

OOOOOOOHHHHHHH and I felt SO nursey the other day. One of my patients was having excruciating lower back pain that couldn't be helped with anything. We're talking morphine pump, other IV pain meds, PO meds, EVERYTHING pharmacologically didn't work. Now I get bad back pain once a month, and I asked him if I could try something with him. I got the MD to order a heating bad for him, propped him on his side with pillows supporting his back, and slid the heating pad in, then talked to him quietly/calmly/slowly, AND.....his pain DRAMATICALLY improved to the point that he could sleep. I literally almost cried. On top of that it was my last day @ the hospital and I finally felt like I made a BIG difference for someone. He even asked if I could be his nurse the rest of the time he was at the hospital. So rewarding!

OK that is it for now. I'd be incredibly surprised if I post again before the end of the month, so have a HAPPY HALLOWEEN and post LOTS of pics. I do check out blogs on mini-study breaks!

Studying

I had to get away from Houston for a little bit. I've been feeling a little overwhelmed and needed a change of scenery. I love being so close to my parents and grandma right now. Houston is the perfect distance from Victoria. Oh, and......mission accomplished! Feeling much happier and studying with the baby girls.

Maggie and Libby

Sophie and Sookie attacking me

Sophie and Sookie playing with each other (and a study break for me)