Here
it is. THE STORY OF ANDREW’S
BIRTH! It is all here, maybe in
too much detail! Pour yourself a
cup of coffee before you start reading…seriously. Oh, and all the details are for me. I’m sure there are spelling and
grammatical errors, but I have a sweet little Andrew {#1 priority} to take care
of right now so I literally wrote it down and didn't edit it at all.
I
feel like a lot of birth stories are beautiful. I think Andrew’s birth was absolutely beautiful, but you should
also know that many things went “wrong.”
I hope that someone reads this and realizes that birth can be so very
different from what you wanted, imagined, or planned for and that is OK. Becoming a mother is a beautiful,
challenging, painful, overwhelming thing!
So…..
Lee
made a masterpiece in our back yard {I need to take a picture}. He spelled Andrew in pansies! I married the sweetest man ever. I walked outside to see what he had
been working on and thought I peed my pants. I had never really done this before, so I wasn’t sure. I had always heard about it, but I had
only had very minor issues with that, nothing like this. I didn’t say anything to Lee because,
um, well it is a little embarrassing {even to tell your husband} to pee on
yourself. I checked things out and
decided that IF it was urine, it was quite a bit. I let Lee know what happened and we decided to call my
doctor’s on-call number {it was Sunday, remember} to see what they said. I was Group B Strep positive, so if it
was my water breaking, I needed to get some antibiotics to protect Andrew from
getting a bacterial infection at birth.
Well, they said to come in to the hospital to get checked out. This is where things started to get
dicey.
There
is one physician out of the 8 or so in my doctor’s practice that I am not fond
of {actually I can’t stand him…at all…he is one of those people who talks AT
you instead of WITH you, and I’m not an idiot} and GUESS WHO was on call? Yep. HIM. We’ll call
him Dr. C. Total A-hole. I saw him at one of my prenatal
visits. I had gained 7 pounds that
month after consistently losing weight to the tune of 15 pounds. I was approximately 28 weeks pregnant
at the time. He, without any
hesitation, told me to “stop eating pasta, bread, and ice cream so you don’t
gain too much weight. It is bad
for the baby.” When I let him know
I wasn’t able to eat those things and thought the weight gain was a positive
thing since I had lost so much previously he replied “well, I am just trying to
help you get back into your jeans after you have the baby” and then he blurted
out my weight, in front of my parents, at the only appointment they were able
to come to. RUINED IT. Now you see why I think he is an
ass? OK I’m done ranting about him
{not really}. Oh, and by the way,
I gained less than 10lbs. TOTAL my entire pregnancy. EAT IT Dr. C.
I
sent a text to the charge nurse {Becky} that I was going to go get checked out,
and to my bestie, Taylor. If this
had happened earlier she probably would have come to the hospital with me
instead of going to work, but it is probably better she wasn’t there for the
night. My water broke around
5:30PM and we got to the hospital around 7. I {of course} had to take a shower before going to the
hospital; I knew I might not get one for a while. We drove to Harris Methodist Southwest and called my Mom and
Shelley while driving. My Dad was
at the house and knew we would be going to the hospital, but he had to go pick
up my Mom and Shelley from Southlake.
They called everyone else {Natalee first, of course!} to let them know
this was probably IT. When I
arrived at the hospital they checked me in pretty quickly and asked if I was
having contractions. I said I
thought I was but they didn’t really hurt. They got me in a gown/room and checked to make sure my water
had broken {it had} and then Dr. C came in. Good old Dr. C.
I wasn’t even hooked up to a monitor yet, and he started talking about
Pictocin. Lee and I {very nicely}
let him know that was not in our plan and shared what we wanted with him. He kind of scoffed at us and let me
know that since I was a first time Mom with a BIG baby that my body wouldn’t be
able to labor effectively.
WOW. Two things pissed me
off instantly. #1 don’t call my
baby BIG when you really mean FAT {remember he basically called me a fat
ass}. #2 I need everyone on MY
team believing in me. My body is
capable of having a baby! It grew
one for the last 39 weeks & 3 days and…well….dammit I can do ANYTHING! At that point I decided I was going to
wait until my doctor got there to do anything except receive antibiotics. ANYTHING. The race for 0700 began. He also did a breast exam. I thought it was odd at the time but I was so nervous I
didn’t say anything. Now I think
it was REALLY odd.
My
nurse was brand new and it was her last shift on orientation. She was sweet, but not very smart {my
expert opinion} and her preceptor was a total crazy. I am trying to keep the language to a minimum here FYI, but
she was a witch with a capital B.
New Nurse checked me and said I was dilated to about a 3 and 70%
effaced. I got hooked up to the
monitors and sure enough I was having contractions, but they weren’t very
strong or very regular. I told New
Nurse I was going to get up and walk around after she started my IV and she
said that was fine {I wasn’t asking for permission}. Capital B walked in and asked her if Andrew’s head was
engaged, and New Nurse said she didn’t know. Capital B told me that I couldn’t get up and walk around
because it might cause the cord to come out before Andrew’s head. She was EXCEPTIONALLY rude about it and
argued with me when I told her I wanted to naturally stimulate labor. She brought up Pitocin again. I got to the hospital at 7pm. It was MAYBE 8PM at this time. WOW people really LOVE Pitocin. I told her that I WOULD be walking
around and that I didn’t want to be checked by 50 people, so they needed to do
their jobs right the first time {more cervical checks + bacteria = more risk of
infection}. We all know your cervix
dilates during labor. You don’t
need to check it 50,000 times to see this. I told her what I should have told Dr. C {see #2 above} and
I firmly let her know that if she wasn’t on board she shouldn’t come back in
the room and should find me a nurse that was willing to help me. Guess what? I didn’t see her for the rest of the night. NO JOKE!
New
Nurse blew 2 of my forearm veins and stuck me bevel down the first time {I kid
you not}. She got a more
experienced nurse who blew my intern vein on the right {side of your wrist for
you non-medical readers}, that more experienced nurse got an even more
experienced nurse who blew my other intern vein {we are up to the FOURTH
stick/blown vein for those of you counting}, and all the while I was begging
them to start the IV in my AC {bend of your arm} and they refused. My Dad had arrived by then and told
them they needed to get someone in there that knew what they were doing and
that they had one more chance before he started one in my AC. For the record, I have BEAUTIFUL
veins. FINALLY a nurse came in and
confidently started my IV. I
begged her to start an 18 in my AC, but she refused as well and put a 20
{success FINALLY} in my hand that didn’t work when I bent my wrist. FANTASTIC {sarcasm}. Little did I know things would go like
this all night long.
I
walked, squatted, used the birthing ball, bounced, moved, and did everything
you see when you Google: natural labor induction. EVERYTHING people.
I did this all night. Dr. C
came in multiple times {probably 5 total} to check me and tried to get me to
start Pitocin. I had made some
progress and was having stronger, more regular contractions at around 4AM
according to New Nurse. I was
super excited that I might not have to use Pitocin. I was exhausted by this time, so I tried to take a bit of a
nap, interrupted by Dr. C. He
tried to convince me to start Pitocin again, and I told him that I wouldn’t be
starting it tonight and that I was going to wait for Dr. Butler to arrive. He sort of scoffed at me again, let me
know that I wasn’t making a good decision, told me that my body wasn’t capable
of having effective contractions with such a big baby, and left the room. Lee and I said a prayer that we were
making the right decision. We both
felt at peace with using Pitocin, if my labor hadn’t progressed, AFTER Dr.
Butler arrived.
My
day shift nurse came in with a nursing student. They were both ROCKING AWESOME. New Nurse {sweet, but will probably kill someone because she
isn’t very smart} had made sure to get me a super positive nurse that was
willing to help me have Andrew as naturally as possible. What a blessing! Prayers answered! She was awesome, especially compared to
what I had been dealing with all night.
She wasn’t perfect, but who is?
Oh, and come to find out, I was one of two patients in ALL of
L&D. There must have been 8
nurses there that night and I couldn’t get better care?? The other patient in L&D was being
induced the next morning and had just checked in early for some reason. SERIOUSLY??!? I digress…
Nursing
student came in the room super excited……..she heard I was a nurse in the ICU
and will be my co-worker in January.
AWESOME. No offense sweet
girl {because you were awesome} but it is a little awkward to know you will be
working with the nurse you just met.
She was going to see me naked, at my very worst. Just sayin. Little bit awkward.
Taylor had arrived by this time.
She is an ANGEL. She came
straight from working all night in the ICU, in her scrubs, with no sleep, to be
with me. Finally, something,
anything, going according to plan.
We chatted about the night and I got my “let’s rock this delivery”
attitude back. I had also talked
to my sweet friend {also a nurse} Amanda who has FIVE beautiful kids. She had one in the hospital with lots
of interventions she didn’t want, 3 at home naturally, and her last in the
hospital naturally {although she had to fight for it a bit}. Everyone agreed with my decision to
hold out on starting Pitocin until Dr Butler arrived.
Dr.
Butler came in and sat down in the rocking chair. I could tell she thought she was going to have to hard sell
me on Pitocin. I let her say what
she wanted to. She talked WITH me
about risks v. benefits and was still very on board with a natural
delivery. She included Lee and
Taylor in the conversation. She
was very positive about everything.
She didn’t know that Lee and I had already decided to start Pitocin once
she arrived, and seemed pretty surprised that she didn’t have to convince
me. I had been in half labor half
weird tiny contractions labor {all in my back} for 14 hours and I was
exhausted. I lost it in front of
everyone {I had small cry fests all night with Lee} and Dr. Butler grabbed me,
gave me a big hug, and said, “you can do this. I know you feel like a failure because of the Pitocin, but
you’re not. Your body just needs a
little push in the right direction.
You are going to do this.”
I was so thankful for that.
She was right. I felt like
a HUGE failure. I still feel like
a little bit of a failure now. I
get big old tears in my eyes just typing this. I wanted a NATURAL labor and delivery and I knew I wouldn’t
be getting that. I felt like
Pitocin would make my contractions stronger than I could handle and I felt like
I was going down the intervention spiral of doom. My gut was right….
Pitocin
started around 7:30 and I began to have hard core contractions very regularly
by about 9AM. We’re talking can’t
talk, focused on breathing, contractions at least every 2 minutes, very intense
labor. 9AM. I labored on the birthing ball until
about 11AM when Day Nurse says Andrew’s heart rate is having early decels {head
compression} due to the ball and I should labor in bed. Well, I didn’t want to lay on my back
in bed {the most ineffective way to labor} so I decided to stand, squat, and
pace. I couldn’t really walk very
far because once you start Pitocin they want to continuously monitor the baby
and your contractions. {Can
someone please upgrade to wireless monitors already?!} That’s when shit got
real. I felt like I could handle
it on the ball, but as soon as I stood up I started to question my ability to
take the pain. Dr. Butler only
checked me twice from 7AM until about 1PM. SHE ROCKS.
I
made it to 6cm dilated and 100% effaced and then craziness ensued. I had back labor the entire time. Day Nurse put me in all sorts of crazy
positions face down on the bed because they thought the baby was turned sunny
side up {face forward instead of back} and we were trying to help him turn
naturally. I couldn’t take the
pain like that, so I stood back up.
I doubled over and put my ENTIRE body weight on Lee every single time I
had a contraction. Lee had to go
to the bathroom at one point and Taylor took over. She didn’t realize I was putting my entire weight on
Lee! Lee and Taylor were
amazing. Both of them kept telling
me that I could do it. Taylor kept
cracking jokes in between contractions, which helped me try to relax. I felt like the pain never stopped in
between contractions and I couldn’t catch my breath {stupid Pitocin}. I really tried to use the breathing
techniques I had practiced, and then I started puking. I was holding on to Lee and Taylor,
doubled over in pain, puking into a blue bag held by Taylor {true friend}. That was the final straw. I demanded an epidural around 130 or
2PM. Day nurse had just started my
last dose of antibiotics, which burned like fire. It burned SO BAD that I clamped off the IV tubing in the
middle of a contraction and told her I wouldn’t take it anymore {thankfully the
med was almost finished}. My
entire arm was red from the antibiotic, yet NOBODY, night shift or day shift,
would run it in with fluids to dilute it and help the stinging. They were seriously not the brightest
crayons in the box. I NEVER let my
patients complain that much about a medication and refuse to do something about
it. NEVER. Well, that is when Taylor stepped in. We both used some choice language, Day
Nurse said I was going to blow my vein, Taylor educated her that clamping off
IV tubing wouldn’t blow my vein. I
continued to demand an epidural.
Keep in mind I had not wanted this, so Lee and Taylor questioned me
repeatedly. After some choice
language, tears, and more vomiting, I spotted the anesthesiologist outside the
door.
He
was actually going to another patient’s room. My nurse said she had to bolus me with a liter of LR
{fluids} before I got my epidural.
She turned the IV pump all the way up using the same antibiotics tubing,
and I LOST IT on her. I used all
kinds of language. Thankfully my
sweet sweet Taylor stepped in.
Taylor told her to get a new IV in my AC and to get all new tubing. Well, she didn’t start a new IV, but
she did get a new bag of fluids and tubing. I told the nurse my pressure would hold without the bolus, I
promised her it would, but she wouldn’t budge. I waived the anesthesiologist. I believe I pointed to him, motioned him over, and pointed
to my bed. Quite the
solicitation! He didn’t walk into
the room, so I told Taylor to “grab that man by the balls and drag him in here
if you have to!” That did the
trick. He came in to do my
epidural without me having received a bolus {and my blood pressure stayed fine,
as promised}. He did the epidural
FAST. 2 minutes fast. He told the nurse to chart 3 minutes
because 2 minutes was too fast.
FAST. I wasn’t numb when he
stuck me {because he did it so fast} so I yelled SOB {not abbreviated}!!!! He didn’t skip a beat and said “I’ve
been called worse!” Oh, and my
labor was SO intense during the epidural.
I had THREE contractions while he was doing the epidural. THREE. That is too many.
They should come every 1.5 to 2 minutes.
SWEET
EPIDURAL. They helped me lie down
in the bed and for the first couple of minutes my left side was numb, but I could
feel the contractions FULL STRENGTH on my right side. I was terrified that both sides wouldn’t get numb and that
getting an epidural was useless, but thank God that didn’t happen. I completely passed out in bed. The nurses started the intervention spiral
{if you can’t feel the urge to pee and can’t get up to pee you need a foley
catheter} while I completely passed out.
My family came in and out of the room while I snoozed, but the nurses
stayed in the room and turned me back and forth a million times. Dr. Butler came in and MAJORLY broke my
water {it was only leaking all night}.
She said we were going in the right direction and would have Andrew here
in a couple of hours. Andrew had
other plans. The nurses kept
flipping me back and forth in the bed because they would lose the monitor on
Andrew’s heart with every contraction.
When they did keep the monitor, his heart rate would drop at the end of
the contraction {late decelerations} which signals cord compression, which
means lack of oxygen to Andrew, which is BAD. I knew that he was having some late decals, but I thought
his heart rate was still OK and we were still good. WRONG! Dr.
Butler came in and said we were still OK, but that she was going to put a scalp
monitor on Andrew {a small screw that goes into his scalp and monitors his
heart rate…I know….screwing something into my baby’s head….not cool}. It wasn’t really an optional thing, so
we did it. I had enough time to
close my eyes and then I was being flipped from side to side again. I opened my eyes again and my room was
full. Dr. Butler, the
anesthesiologist, a CRNA, and multiple nurses surrounded my bed. Dr. Butler told me Andrew’s heart rate was
too low and that he needed to get out now. I asked what his heart rate was dropping to {I was thinking
100, 110} and she said 60. I’m
pretty sure I hit the ceiling. I
had a major freak out. Holy WOW. 60 is NOT OK. I was quickly prepped and whisked away for my emergency
c-section. You can tell in the
pictures that I was not a happy Haley.
Oh, and I was still super nauseated and puking. At this point I asked for another dose
of Zofran from the CRNA {he ROCKED hard core} and I’m pretty sure I got some
Phenergan but I was so loopy from the drugs I don’t remember. I do remember that Lee, my family, and
Taylor were telling me that everything was going to be OK, and that one of my
sisters told me that having a
C-section was better because I would be able to jump on the trampoline without
peeing on myself…HA!
I
tried so hard to keep my eyes open during the C-section. I kept feeling like I couldn’t stay
awake and my eyes were rolling back in my head {they were according to
Lee}. I remember asking for my
vitals at one point because I was CERTAIN I was going to die on the table due
to all of the suctioning I heard and because of the way I felt.
At
3:32 PM on Monday, November 26, 2012, Andrew Charles DeLaGarza was born. He weighed 8 pounds, 12.7 ounces and
was 21.5 inches long. Dr. Butler
said “he has strawberry blonde hair” and I immediately started crying. Lee stood up and looked over the
curtain {something he immediately regretted when he saw my open tummy} and they
let Andrew peek at me really quickly before the NICU staff whisked him away. I cried the second I heard him. His cry was strong and perfect. I knew he was going to be OK. At that very moment, I didn’t care if I
was going to be OK, all I cared about was that Andrew was out. I asked for his APGARs {yes, even
though I felt like I was dying}.
The NICU doctor or nurse {I can’t remember} came and told me that Andrew
was healthy and from that point forward I only have blips of memory. I remember Dr. Butler coming around and
saying that I was being stitched up {soooo much better than staples} by the
PA. I remember her holding Andrew
and trying to tell me what had happened and not being able to keep my eyes
open. I felt them rolling back in
my head. I remember Dr. Butler
asking about my blood pressure and asking if the Pitocin was wide open {it was,
and they had the coolest bolus bags}.
I remember the nurse holding Andrew up to my cheek and Lee holding him
so that I could see him while they finished my surgery. I remember touching his sweet little
checks. I remember not being able
to contain my emotion. I cried
tears of joy, happiness, and relief.
I remember trying desperately to keep my eyes open, and failing
repeatedly. I remember asking the
CRNA to make me stop shaking. It
really bothered me that I was uncontrollably shaking. My jaw and shoulders hurt because I was shaking so
badly. I remember worrying about
the line on Andrew’s head from the contractions/his position/not being able to
come down.
I
lost a LOT of blood during surgery.
For my friends who know what this means, my hemoglobin went from 12
something to 7.0. I felt horrible
for a number of weeks just due to that!
Lee, Andrew, and I stayed in the hospital for 5 days. Andrew was healthy from the very
beginning. He passed all of his
tests the first time. He really
did a lot better than me! I was in
some pretty bad pain for about 5 weeks.
Maybe I will go into it at a later date, but I felt very incapable for
many weeks after Andrew was born.
I believe a lot of it was hormonal, but a significant portion of it was
the fact that I felt like a failure because Andrew was born via C-section. I realize it is ridiculous, but it is
the truth. I felt like, still sort
of feel like, I didn’t do enough.
I relive the situation and wonder if I could have done something better
or differently to alter the outcome.
I was really traumatized by the whole experience. Dr. Butler completely refutes that
idea. She said that I worked
harder than anyone she has ever seen to have Andrew naturally. She said that it would have been
IMPOSSIBLE {and she doesn’t use absolutes a lot} for me to have him any other
way. I still have my own personal
doubts.
You’ll
see that I am missing a lot of photos.
I have NO photos of my parents with Andrew for the first time. I have NO photos of Lee, me, and
Andrew. I didn’t change Andrew’s diaper
for the first 3 days in the hospital.
I physically couldn’t. I
was so weak and in so much pain. I
was deliriously tired. I began
having auditory and visual hallucinations in the hospital. We think it was because of the pain
medication and exhaustion. Dr.
Butler said that I shouldn’t take Demerol again. The hallucinations were so real that I was having
conversations with people that I saw standing in my room. Lee was the only one that knew about
this; I begged him not to tell anyone because I thought they would take away my
pain medication and I was in so much pain. After I got home, I almost passed out while trying to get in
the shower. I also got very confused
and did not know who Lee was. I
kept asking him to get my husband and he would tell me that he was my
husband. He’d say “Haley, I am
Lee. I am your husband. Your son is right here. Your parents are in the next
room.” I would yell for him to get
my husband and he would calmly repeat himself. This happened about 5 or 6 times before I finally snapped
out of it and told him that I was just very confused. I can’t imagine how people with memory problems feel; I only
had one major incident and I wouldn’t wish the way I felt at that moment on
anyone.
Andrew
is beautiful. He is perfect in
every way. I remember, when I
first saw him, thinking he looked exactly like Lee but with my hair color. He was born with such big strong hands
and feet. I cannot believe how
much I instantly loved Andrew. We
loved him long before his birth, but the moment he was born I felt like my
heart would explode. I love seeing
Lee with Andrew. He loves him so
much and is so gentle with him.
Andrew has made our entire lives better than we could have ever
imagined.
Now
that you’ve made it to the end of this ridiculously long account, I’ll share
another little miracle. Another
little something that God planned for Andrew. Remember how Andrew got his name? Remember my great uncle George ANDREW Glass? Well, guess what? George’s birthday was November 26 too! Coincidence? Absolutely not.
Andrew was divinely planned.
Andrew
is a very sweet little boy. Harper
loves him dearly; she gets upset and shakes when he cries! He is so very loved by his parents,
grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends. We love you Andrew Charles, with all of
our hearts. We cannot imagine our
lives without you. Each day is
more special because of you. We thank God for blessing us with you and for planning your life so perfectly.
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| Andrew in Mommy's tummy right before heading to the hospital |
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| Happily contracting Sunday night on the birthing ball |
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| I've made progress! Approximately 3AM. |
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| Laboring away. Sometime after 9AM Monday |
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| Happy Haley in between contractions. Sometime after 9AM Monday |
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| Lee and me as I was being whisked away to surgery. You can see Andrew's heart rate and the decels on the computer in the background. The look on my face is so candid. I was unhappy, exhausted, and scared. |
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| Being wheeled to the OR. Yah I know. Gross, but REAL! |
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| Lee waiting to be brought into the OR. |
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| The first non-naked picture of Andrew! See the big line on his head from being turned the wrong way and not being able to come out? |
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| One of the pics in the OR {thanks future co-worker for the pic!} |
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| Lee, me, and baby Andrew! |
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| Feeling Andrew's little cheek |
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| My first up close look at Andrew! |
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| This picture makes me cry every single time. The only way I made it through this was with Lee holding my hand and keeping Andrew close to me so that I knew he was OK. |
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| The very first time I touched Andrew. |
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| Showing off his strong lungs! |
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| First photo as a family of 3! I was REALLY forcing this smile. |
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| Dr. Butler holding a brand new Andrew! Best OB/GYN EVER. I mean it. I'd recommend her to anyone, especially if you're in the medical field! |
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| The whiteboard in my PP room Thanks Shelley! |
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| Andrew Charles DeLaGarza. Night #1 |
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| My sweet boys. Andrew 6 days old. |
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| Andrew 2 days old sleeping on Daddy's chest in the hospital |
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| Andrew 3 days old sleeping with Mommy in the hospital. Check out the gigantic bruise on my arm from one of the many IV attempts (4 days previously)! |
