Victoria

Here we come!!!

Thankful

I realize it isn't Thanksgiving yet, but I've got a heck of a lot to be thankful for this year. I know I usually don't get into religion on my blog very much, but that should in no way be mistaken for lack of it. I'm just not big on stepping on other peoples' toes, and I have respect for many different religions. So here goes.

I know that God is with me for every second of every day. It is just that lately I've felt His presence more in my life. I don't know why I feel it so much more now...maybe it is because I desperately need divine intervention to make it through school, living apart from Lee, and being alone. In any case, a few things I should chronicle {a little bit} have happened lately.

1. I was told that I needed to become a nurse {it was a divine intervention}.

This was a really big deal. I grew up wanting to be a physician. An M.D. More specifically, I wanted to be in pediatric trauma. You know, the Emergency Room. We're talking George Clooney on E.R. except, of course, a woman! I did the work, but have no doubt that God's hand was in all of it from before it started. How in the world do you explain being able to quit a job, move 4.5 hours away from your spouse, find an apartment where you feel safe less than 2 miles from the medical center, and somehow {I have no idea how} being able to afford to take a whole year off from life? Oh, and not to become a doctor, but a nurse! Now I know EXACTLY where I want to be in nursing. I know without a shadow of a doubt that it is RIGHT for me. I have my eye on a graduate program. I KNOW that I am MEANT to go into anesthesia. I absolutely LOVE it. I can't get ENOUGH of it! How cool is it that by the time I'm ready to start that program they will have a DNP-A (Doctor of Nursing Practice - Anesthesia) available? It is all so much bigger than me.

2. I go to a public school and God isn't really discussed openly in any of my courses.

This seems like a small miracle to me. Other than the private parochial elementary school I attended, I've gone to public school where talk about God is quieted and minimized. Now I'm at UTHSC which seems pretty dark sometimes, yet I find God when I need Him most. A group of us {students, professors, whomever} meet every Tuesday morning on campus to pray. We pray for our studies, our friends, our families, each other, and whatever else we want to. I LOVE it! I have met some really amazing friends that attend, and am so happy that MY CLASS started this prayer group. On top of this, I was under some unnecessary stress last week, and needed a professor to help me out. I prayed all night that she would be willing and able to help. The big thing to me was that she not only helped, but when I told her I had prayed all night she would be able to help, she responded saying that she had so many things to do that morning, but that she felt God had plans for her to be with me that morning. She then asked me if I was a Christian and invited me to her office to pray before we dealt with the source of my stress. A professor. In a public institution. God placed her in my life and made her available at a moments notice.

3. This morning my grandma {Neese} fell off the stairs outside of our house.

This is the MIRACLE of MIRACLES. She didn't break any bones. She didn't need any stitches.  She got sent home from the ER with a scratch and orders to rest and ice her shoulder. If I had fallen onto a concrete slab, I can guarantee I'd break something. In fact, people have fallen from couches to carpet and broken things. Somehow {I believe through the grace of God} she fell off a BIG step {so steep--the size of 2 steps really} onto concrete and only had a scratch on her hand.

These are only examples of a few things that have happened in the last little while for which I have to be thankful. It isn't through luck or chance that I can write this post, but through God's grace.  I am thankful for many other things {family, health, happiness, freedom, truth, prosperity, friends, hope for the future}. Those may get a separate post, but this year, more than other years, I am realizing His presence in all that I have to be THANKFUL for.

I'll leave you with an email I received from a prayer group friend and classmate. She knew I wasn't acting the same, and obviously something was wrong. I didn't tell her what was going on {as you noticed I haven't here either--later--maybe} but that I was stressed out about things I had to deal with later during the week. Knowing only that, she sent me the email below; it seemed like she knew exactly what was going on and what I needed, even when I hadn't told her what I was dealing with and even when I couldn't see it clearly myself.

Remember you are not alone, especially not in spirit. God doesn't promise to meet us on the other side, he walks through the fire, the water, with us. With both of us praying, our cord of two is not easily broken.

Lord, calm Haley's spirit. Put to rest her fears, her qualms, her trepidation. Cast out what is not of you and replace it with your Word, your Truth. You are trustworthy and true. You are unchanging. We praise you for these qualities, for the salvation you have given us, for the access we have to your Throne, Lord God. I ask that you go before Haley, prepare her feet in the Gospel of Peace, outfit her in your armor. Love on her Lord in the most tender way. Reveal to her your presence, let her experience you in such a unique, humbling way. Protect her from enemy's arrows and lies. Place a hedge of protection around her and her family. I pray tomorrow would be a testimony to your greatness. That'd you would use whatever is to come for your glory. Set her feet upon your rock, upon your Word. Do not let her be shaken God. Prepare in her the strength to make it through whatever tomorrow brings, and to be victorious in your name. Guard and watch over your daughter Lord. Help her, encourage her trust in you. Grant her peace tonight, grant her a good night's sleep, and in the morning your mercy will be renewed. Increase her faith in you God, and reward her heart that loves you. Grant her favor over tomorrow. I pray your truth will prevail. In Jesus name we pray. IN your holy name we boldly ask these things. Amen

Lately

So lately I've been super stressed. I get this pain in my chest when I think about everything that I have to do in the next few weeks. I've solved it (I think) by using sticky notes. I love stickie notes! The rest of my week consists of writing a research paper on the controversy of air travel and pregnancy, going to an AA meeting (funny story, I got kicked out of one I tried to go to--awkward), completing an education project for psychiatric patients, and studying for a major exam on Tuesday. The paper is partially done but I need a completed rough draft by tomorrow at midnight, and I have to be at the psychiatric center for the majority of the day. It is a little after midnight now, so tomorrow should be interesting.

I cannot wait to SLEEP after next Friday. Thanksgiving week is going to be fabulous. I cannot wait. Don't get me wrong, I have to study then too, but I will have an entire week with LOW STRESS.

In other news, Lee surprised me and drive to Houston late last Friday night! He was supposed to work FIVE WEEKENDS IN A ROW but has a wonderful boss that evidently loves me a little and told him to get himself to Houston! We went to Victoria Saturday morning, saw a movie Saturday night, and got to spend a lot of time together and with our families. I got in a lot of studying, and Lee got to catch up on some much needed sleep. He works SO hard every single day.

OK well that is all for now. Sorry for the spelling and grammatical errors--I typed fast since it is so late.

Rough Patch

Today has been interesting.

First of all, I have made some amazing friends in school. I've made the kind of friends that see you at your best and worst AND love you all the same. I am ridiculously thankful for meeting some of the sweetest people. I am thankful for the opportunity to go back to school for something I feel called, compelled, meant to become. Meeting some of the sweetest people and making friends is icing on the cake.

This morning one of those close friends let me know that her baby sister was involuntarily committed to a psychiatric hospital and that they think she has schizophrenia. You all know we are in psych this semester, and we see schizophrenia every single day we're there. It is a really challenging illness, and can be difficult to treat. I have prayed all day that God will wrap his arms around her family and comfort each of them. I cannot imagine how they are feeling right now.

My other close friend had OB today. She called and said she really enjoyed it, but was in tears and really upset about one of her patients. She had a patient come in, in early labor, 41 weeks pregnant, that had not felt her baby move since yesterday. The baby died and they were having to help the mother with this news while getting ready to deliver a deceased baby. I cried when she told me about it and I feel so horrible for my friend and the family she helped. At the same time, I'm very proud of her and glad that someone as sweet and compassionate as her was with the mother and family. She is so kind and caring; I know she helped the situation.

Nursing is wonderful, and I love it with all of my heart. There are just some times when it is really upsetting or difficult; there are times when I wish I didn't know as much about health, wellness, and illness. I cry for patients, friends, and their families. I pray for them. I hope they have good outcomes.

I guess I have to learn to care in a way that is healthy...or maybe how much I care is healthy.

Labor and Delivery Day 1

Yesterday I arrived at the hospital before sunrise expecting to be on the post partum floor all day taking care of Mamas that had just delivered babies. I read up on everything post partum and was ready to go!! My instructor met me and let me know that there was a change in plans and I would instead be going to Labor and Delivery for the day. Immediate excitement followed 5 minutes later by being a little bit terrified. I know L&D somewhat, but I had prepared for PP all day. I quickly got over it as I met my nurse for the day and started to go over our patients.

Fast forward to 1045. We get an admission of a Mom with 2 previous term deliveries, nothing else. She is in a lot of pain and ready for her epidural. She was super dehydrated and we ended up having to call anesthesia to start the IV, and it took them 3 tries to do so {if it takes them 3 tries it was super difficult}. Anyhow, we waited 20 minutes for the epidural to work, and no luck. We called anesthesia back and they decided to bolus {put more meds} again and and see what happened 5-10 minutes later. Well, I stayed with the Mom to try to help her through contractions. Oh WAIT. I'm missing something important. Mom and Dad only speak SPANISH! I know a little Spanish, they know a little English--it was an interesting few hours! OK back to story. As anesthesia walks back into the room, Mom gives me some physical clues that she's ready to push. WOAH! She arrived at 1045 and it is 1230. We were expecting a fast delivery, but not quite that fast. The anesthesiologist grabs the nurse {because I'm not leaving the Mom} and ends up the charge nurse comes in to get some labs {we STILL hadn't been able to get blood, only an IV}. I tell the charge nurse she's acting like she wants to push and she asks me for her info {things like dilated to a 4, 38 and 3/7 weeks pregnant, 3rd baby, etc...}. Charge nurse says "I'll get these labs and then we'll check her" just as Mom starts to scream. Charge nurse then says, "why don't we check her now" and pulls back the covers. Lo and behold babies head is saying hello all the way to his ears!!!!! The charge has one sterile glove on, and I throw a clean glove on her other hand, Mom pushes, and out slides baby. HANDS DOWN ONE OF THE MOST AMAZING THINGS I'VE EVER SEEN. I can't believed I helped with a precipitous birth {one where the Dr. isn't there} on my very first day.

I sincerely thought L&D would be all about staring at crotch all day and it is SO NOT. It is all about watching for baby's head!! My poor Mama never got to experience birth with an epidural since it never worked and she had her first two kiddos at home in another country. She took it like a champ though and only almost broke my hand once {now I know why you only give Mom two fingers to squeeze}.

Mama and baby are well, and the father seriously almost made me cry. They are the cutest sweetest little family, and we communicated enough that I knew they were going to have someone pick up their kids from school and bring them to meet their little brother {really little}. The parents thanked us and when we told them the Dr. would be there shortly the Mom said "no need now!" She was so sweet! The Dr. was upset he missed the birth. Whomever paged him during all the mayhem entered his pager number instead of the hospital, so he had no idea of where to go!!

I had to get this down tonight before I forgot all of the little details. I was on cloud 9 after yesterday, but it was also the most physically and mentally exerting shift so far. Being able to help someone through the pain of natural birth is SO REWARDING. That said, I'm excited that next week I get to spend a lot of time in the nursery with the wee newborns!! Hope everyone is having a great time....back to studying!!

Life Lately

Sleep, study, repeat, sleep study, repeat, sleep, study, eat, repeat, sleep, study, dangit I have to start eating more regularly!

This is how life has gone lately. I told y'all October would be a doozie of a month and I'm no liar. Even so, I'm not sure I expected the craziness that would ensue as of a couple of weeks ago. Quick recap {because I could study for the next two weeks without eating or sleeping and still not get everything done}:

I go to the Harris County Psychiatric Center, or HCPC, once a week. I DO NOT like being there behind not one, but TWO locked doors on the unit and another TWO to get out of the hospital. It is a really eerie feeling once that door locks and you know you can't get out. I get physically ill before each shift starts. The fact that I'm on very acute units doesn't help much either. The charge nurse got beat up by a patient last week, and the week before that we had two patients get into a fight. Haldol is a staple. I actually really enjoy learning about psych, but don't enjoy experiencing it first hand. In fact, I like all of psych EXCEPT bipolar disorder and schizo disorders. Suicidal 20 something? Bring it on. OCD? So interesting. Eating disorders? I was in ballet and a sorority. Depressed? We can talk.

Now, I'm spending so much time on this because I feel bad about not liking psych. I'm actually pretty good at it {does that mean I'm a little crazy?} and have done really well on my exams, therapeutic interviews, and interventions with acutely psychotic patients that aren't at HCPC {they're in the hospitals I'm doing other shifts at}. For some reason I can connect with many of them. Maybe it is because I'm young. Maybe it is because I'm a student and we have something in common.....NEITHER OF US WANT TO BE THERE!! Maybe I'm a little off my rocker {hey, I feel like a string is holding me back from being committed sometimes}. Whatever it is, {I'm not bragging} I have a knack for it. That said, I could go the rest of my life without seeing a manic patient and die a happy gal, but I have to make it through mid-December with my weekly visits to HCPC. Oh the joy.

I made it through gerontology without a breakdown. I got an A.

OB started and is RIDICULOUSLY hard. I thought it'd be interesting, but alas, staring at crotch all day isn't very appealing. Actually I think I'll like being in L&D, OR, and the nursery, but the learning all of it ahead of time and seeing picture after picture after picture of crotch is just a bit much. Ever seen uterine prolapse? Don't Google it while eating.

I'm almost done with Care II and I'm fighting every second to earn an A in there. It is a Med-Surg course and a lot of fun, but some of the questions are a little wacky.

OOOOOOOHHHHHHH and I felt SO nursey the other day. One of my patients was having excruciating lower back pain that couldn't be helped with anything. We're talking morphine pump, other IV pain meds, PO meds, EVERYTHING pharmacologically didn't work. Now I get bad back pain once a month, and I asked him if I could try something with him. I got the MD to order a heating bad for him, propped him on his side with pillows supporting his back, and slid the heating pad in, then talked to him quietly/calmly/slowly, AND.....his pain DRAMATICALLY improved to the point that he could sleep. I literally almost cried. On top of that it was my last day @ the hospital and I finally felt like I made a BIG difference for someone. He even asked if I could be his nurse the rest of the time he was at the hospital. So rewarding!

OK that is it for now. I'd be incredibly surprised if I post again before the end of the month, so have a HAPPY HALLOWEEN and post LOTS of pics. I do check out blogs on mini-study breaks!

Studying

I had to get away from Houston for a little bit. I've been feeling a little overwhelmed and needed a change of scenery. I love being so close to my parents and grandma right now. Houston is the perfect distance from Victoria. Oh, and......mission accomplished! Feeling much happier and studying with the baby girls.

Maggie and Libby

Sophie and Sookie attacking me

Sophie and Sookie playing with each other (and a study break for me)