Rough Patch

Today has been interesting.

First of all, I have made some amazing friends in school. I've made the kind of friends that see you at your best and worst AND love you all the same. I am ridiculously thankful for meeting some of the sweetest people. I am thankful for the opportunity to go back to school for something I feel called, compelled, meant to become. Meeting some of the sweetest people and making friends is icing on the cake.

This morning one of those close friends let me know that her baby sister was involuntarily committed to a psychiatric hospital and that they think she has schizophrenia. You all know we are in psych this semester, and we see schizophrenia every single day we're there. It is a really challenging illness, and can be difficult to treat. I have prayed all day that God will wrap his arms around her family and comfort each of them. I cannot imagine how they are feeling right now.

My other close friend had OB today. She called and said she really enjoyed it, but was in tears and really upset about one of her patients. She had a patient come in, in early labor, 41 weeks pregnant, that had not felt her baby move since yesterday. The baby died and they were having to help the mother with this news while getting ready to deliver a deceased baby. I cried when she told me about it and I feel so horrible for my friend and the family she helped. At the same time, I'm very proud of her and glad that someone as sweet and compassionate as her was with the mother and family. She is so kind and caring; I know she helped the situation.

Nursing is wonderful, and I love it with all of my heart. There are just some times when it is really upsetting or difficult; there are times when I wish I didn't know as much about health, wellness, and illness. I cry for patients, friends, and their families. I pray for them. I hope they have good outcomes.

I guess I have to learn to care in a way that is healthy...or maybe how much I care is healthy.